Wet Bromide Albion

The meeting was coming to an end. Agreement had been reached. After hours of heated negotiations the Big Ten had managed to overcome their congenital distrust of each other to listen before they spoke; the paper darts had stopped flying along with the insults and the conference room no longer resembled a fourth form common room.

The Minister for Education read the document in front of him and let out an almost imperceptible sigh of relief. He had sweated blood to get his colleagues to agree to this interim-final-draft-proposal report. To show his true feelings now would not only have invited disaster but would have let it into the party without a bottle. He allowed his glance to slide off the page and sidle over to the face of his nominal superior.

The First Minister looked as if he was about to explode. In all his years in politics he had never known a day like it; at least not since he organised the coup that deposed his predecessor. He raised his eyes and locked gaze with the Minister for Education. Both men were aware of the dangers of breaking that look; any sign of weakness would be pounced on and exploited terminally. The room fell silent as the battle of wills took place each member of the group running through the possible permutations with the precision of chess grandmasters, searching for the golden thread which would leave them one step ahead of their colleagues. Empires rose and fell, civilisations dragged themselves from "ugh!" to "I wonder what happens if we press this red button?". All of time was contained in the moment of that powerful stare. Then, slowly, subtly, like a silent one in a lift, a tiny bead of sweat formed on the First Minister's temple. Sensing his advantage and drawing on all his years of practice with his pet iguana, Archie, the Minister for Education allowed one eyebrow to raise, Spock-like. The now fully formed droplet slid down the First Minister's cheek. The battle was lost. An unspoken whisper ran round the table; "the King is dead. Long live the King."

His victory complete, the Minister for Education allowed a self-satisfied smile ot form and prepared himself for the forthcoming election.